| |I was very pleased when I saw that it was #Groomsweek for ‘You and Your Wedding’ on Twitter. The concerns of the male members of the wedding party are often swept under the crystal sprinkled table, whilst more important decisions, such as what colour to have the chair sashes, are made.
As an NLP coach and actor, I regularly coach grooms, best men and fathers of brides to allay their fears and give their best on the big day.
Top concerns among grooms include saying their vows, making their speech and what the best man will say in his speech.
Here are some top tips for grooms to get the best out of their day (it is their day too you know!):
- Remember why you’re there in the first place. It’s about you and your future wife – you may only say these vows once, so take your time and make sure she hears them.
- Rehearse your vows out loud – don’t let the wedding be the first time you say them – even if you’re a big ‘lad’ you might be surprised by the emotion of the occasion!
- When writing your speech, focus on the message. This is your soap-box moment – all the people in the room will have been chosen to be there (even your obscure uncles and aunties) – what is important for your guests to know? Write bullet points of the key things you want to say. If you think it’s important to cover these points, then the guests will too. Ask the family of the bride if there is anyone you should mention who isn’t at the reception.
- Rehearse your speech out loud. The more you rehearse, it will become ingrained in your muscle memory and it will be like second nature when you’re at the wedding. Mark on it where you want to take breaths – you’ll be surprised how useful this is.
Best Man Speech
- Take a few minutes each day to visualise yourself (on a TV screen) delivering the speech excellently. This will help programme you to expect success rather than failure.
- On the day, make yourself responsible for putting the audience at ease – if you’re thinking about how they feel, you’re less likely to be focussing on yourself.
- Take a deep sigh-breath before you start and take the audience in. This will calm you down.
- If you are saying something light hearted, smile - that way the audience will too!
- It sounds obvious, but read the bullet point first, then look up, take in the whole room and speak. Allow eye contact – it creates connection with the audience and you’ll feel supported by them.
- If he’s your best-man, he’s most likely your best-mate. Communicate to him in advance what the tone of the reception is going to be, what the bride’s family are like, what you expect from him and how far he can take it. A bit of advance notice as to prudish parents is well worth it in the long run!
If you’re getting married soon, congratulations! Feel free to get in touch for some coaching sessions to help prepare you for your big day.